Summertime Sadness

Have you ever been stuck in a rut?

It's like everyday, everything is the same. You do the same things over and over without even realizing it. There's no thrill whatsoever. Nothing. It's too routinary. 

It's frustrating, really.

You feel alone. Even though you're only one call away from meeting your friends. Even though you can just go straight out of the door and go on a completely spontaneous adventure. Or even if you can just chat with your peers online. Maybe a video call. Whatever.

But, no. You're just too used to repeating everything exactly as it was yesterday and probably still, tomorrow. You actually CHOOSE to be that way. Just because.

It is a constant battle with yourself. It feels depressing. Agonizing, even.

You're not exactly sad but you're not exactly happy either. You're confused. You're not sure what to do about it...or IF you're going to do something about it.

The worst part of it all is that even though you are having all these emotions, you act like you don't really care. You keep on telling yourself that "You're fine" when in reality, you're probably an inch away from having a mental breakdown.

That's the last thing you'd admit to. Because you just loathe self-pity. And you're a self-righteous twat.

So, tell me. Have you ever been in a rut? I definitely have.